Fuel Prices - Do I Have to Become a Prostitute to Pay for Gas?

After a brief hiatus of not giving a fuck, I am back and ready to provide the world with the automotive content that it craves and deserves. Along with my senior news correspondent, Yuri Bonergarden, there is nothing that will stand in our way of providing car enthusiasts their daily medicine; so get ready.

I cannot fathom a more meaningful way of resuming my role than to bitch about today's gas prices, so that's exactly what I'll be doing! If you don`t like a man speakin`the trufs, please leave now.

Hopefully you guys and gals aren't surprised to learn that I've never worked at a gas station (because let's face it - only retards and immigrants work at gas stations), but our senior news correspondent, Yuri Bonergarden, has obtained some interesting information about this industry, and has been kind enough to share:

1. Most gas stations set their prices not according to how much it costs them to replace the fuel, but in correlation with their closest competitors in the area

2. If one station ups their price per gallon, the rest will follow suit and vice-versa. That's because station owners typically only make two or three cents on every gallon of gasoline sold. Instead, they make their money off of the snacks and drinks inside.

So kids, if there's one thing to take from this lesson, it's that gas stations don't have much control over the price of their fuel, but they really jew you over (pardon my political incorrectness) on the food inside the store.

Hopefully you are all as fortunate as myself, and had the foresight to purchase a fuel-efficient vehicle. If not, and you are among the portion of the population who eats through their stress, DO NOT, I repeat: DO NOT, purchase your food from the gas stations. Why? 'Cause fuck 'em, that's why.

In all seriousness, however, the gas prices aren't going down anytime soon. If you're rich and don't care, I commend you on your success - but for the rest of us, public transit is becoming a more feasible option for daily commuting.

If you are planning on taking public transit to and from work, I must insist that you continue reading. People on buses staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnk, and you're going to want to get drunk before riding the bus to lower your olfactory sensitivity. Also, remember to bring your mp3 player because people on the bus tend to jibber-jabber, and it's very annoying. Last but not least, I feel inclined to recommend that bring your bike so you can minimize your time on the bus.

Obviously I'm not going to bother discussing specific gas prices, but you can check gasbuddy.com if you want to find the cheapest gas near you.

We at Das Auto! are interested in hearing how the current gas prices are affecting you! You won't win anything, but you will temporarily satisfy Yuri Bonergarden's curiosity! Have at 'er in the comments.

How Hard Does Your Suspension Have To Work?

The short answer is that it has to work pretty goddamn hard to keep your vehicle straight, and keep you comfortable during the ride.

Our Senior News Correspondent, Yuri Bonergarden, was directed to the below video where a smart gentleman has attached a camera to his Mazda Miata to capture the suspension travel over a short distance. This resulted in some pretty awesome footage, and I recommend watching it even if you don't own a car or give a shit what I'm talking about.



So even though your ride may still feel bumpy, or your suspension may be tuned stiff, you now have a general idea of how much vibration your suspension is absorbing. The suspension in the video was aftermarket sport suspension, meaning that it was designed for handling and actually absorbs less vibration than what you would get on a stock vehicle designed for comfort.

While I'm on the subject, if you're thinking about purchasing some coilovers for your vehicle, I highly recommend K-Sports. They'll cost you a pretty penny, but I threw a set of fully-adjustables on my 1992 VW Jetta GTX a couple years ago, and I have no regrets. They perform great, and I can raise my vehicle easily in the winter. This is a subject that I've researched extensively, so if anyone has any questions, feel free to ask in the comments section.

FBI Sued for Crashing Ferrari

Catchy title, right? Well it's true, the FBI is being sued by a Detroit insurer after an agent crashed a $750,000 Ferrari F50 into a tree! The lawsuit alleges that he dun goofed, real bad.

As for the Ferrari itself, it began its life in a dealership in Pennsylvania where it was stolen in September of 2003. The dealer submitted a claim for the stolen vehicle to their insurance company, who paid them their claim. Five years later in 2008, the vehicle was found in Kentucky and was held by the FBI as they investigated the case.

While in FBI possession, two mechanically-retarded special agents decided to take it for a drive. The Ferrari vehicle "fishtailed and slid sideways" within only a few seconds of leaving the warehouse where the vehicle was being stored," according to the lawsuit. Some people just can't handle a supercar, apparently.

After the crash, the insurer submitted a claim to the FBI for the cost of the Ferrari, and was denied on two separate occasions, hence the lawsuit.

source: detnews.com

330km/h Speed Record Set - On Ice!

Off the coast of Finland, on the frozen Baltic Sea, a pretty amazing feat has taken place recently. No, I'm not talking about ice fishermen having inappropriate relations with a whale; I'm talking about the new ice-speed record being set by Juha Kankkunen, a four-time world rally champion.

The supercar he was driving was the world's fastest convertible - the Bentley Continental GT - and as the title of this post suggests, 330km/h is the record that was set. 

As you might assume, certain necessary modifcations were done to the Bentley to make it suitable for the freezing conditions, which dipped as low as -30C. These included installing Pirelli winter tires, a rear parachute, and a roll-cage.

Only 4.8 km was needed before hitting the record speed on the 16.5 km course. A representative with Guiness World Records was on hand to verify the achievement.

For those interested in seeing the video, (which I think is pretty goddamn awesome) here it is:

Rearview Advertising - Nissan's New Approach to Marketing their GT-R

It seems automotive companies are slowly beginning to realize that traditional advertising aggravates consumers and makes them feel stupid. If someone is genuinely interested in learning about a new car, they'll go online and do research - and it doesn't matter to them if someone (not to mention any names...*cough* Eminem) is driving a car in a commercial. A while back, I did a post about BMW's flash projection publicity stunt, and now Nissan is doing something interesting as well.

I'll let the video do the bulk of the explaining, but a couple ladies in a Nissan GT-R went driving around and slapping a film on Porsche owner's windshields to make it look like they're behind a GT-R. It looks like they're capitalizing off their Nürburgring lap time, which was faster than Porsche's.


Some people think that Nissan's actions border on vandalism, but I think it's clever marketing. Thoughts?

Insurance Company Forced to Pay Man for Marijuana

Whenever insurance companies are forced to court-ordered to pay out their policies, it is a victory for the consumer. However, one case specifically caught my eye the other day because of the judge's unique decision. Quebec’s auto insurance protection agency has been ordered to pay $5,000 to a man so that he can grow and smoke marijuana in his home, for medicinal reasons of course.

The man had initially requested insurance coverage for medicinal marijuana for his back spasms, claiming that traditional medicine didn't work, but he was obviously denied. He apparently used to smoke weed illegally, and was arrested and charged on numerous occasions for doing so.

The man (whose name wasn't included on the news report) appealed his case to tribunal officials in Quebec, and it was decided by two judges that the proper steps must be taken for rehabilitation for the car crash victim. This means that $5,000 must be paid for a hydroponic greenhouse in the man’s home, as well as covering water, electricity, plants and soil expenses.

I came up with this complicated algorithm for how this man achieved this court victory:

Now, of course the man had to prove with doctor testimony that prescribed pharmaceutical drugs didn't work to relieve his pain, but hopefully this sets some type of precedent for people who can benefit from cannabis... such as Das Auto!'s Senior News Correspondent, Yuri Bonergarden:

Would You Buy a Car if a Sumo Wrestler has Sat on it?

For the competent consumer, the answer to this question doesn't require any consideration.

But for one gentleman on a local (Vancouver) Subaru forum, he found out after purchasing his new Subaru Forester that the vehicle had been used in a commercial - one which included having a Sumo Wrestler sprawled out on the hood.

Here is his original post quoted from Subaruforester.org:

So I picked up my new 2011 Subaru Forester last weekend. Drove it home, parked in the sun to get a good look, and much to my dismay, noticed small imperfections in the hood... as if someone placed something heavy on the hood. Not really dents... just areas where the light reflections show up shallow imperfections.
At first I wasn't going to complain, thinking "it's not noticeable unless you really look..." but every time I looked
Drove back to the dealer (Don Docksteader in Vancouver), and they said "no problem, we will take care of that for you... must have happened when we shot the latest Sumo Wrestler Add!! Google "Sexy Sumo 2011 Forester"
At the end of the add, you can see a bunch of Sumo Wrestlers lounging on Forester hoods outside the dealership.... I guess this is where the damage happened.
Tomorrow the manager is supposed to phone me, and I am wondering what I should ask for:
1. replace with a new Forester that hasn't been sat on by a huge Japanese man. I can guess that would be a difficult discussion.
2. replace the hood with a new Factory painted hood... not sure this is even possible?
3. repair the hood and re-paint it... I am really not in favor of this option, but that is likely what the dealer will offer. Kind of like paying full price for a new car after it has been in an accident and repaired.
4. ask for money back to compensate for the damage.
Any thoughts / suggestions?
I guess the only good thing is knowing the Forester can actually take the weight of a Sumo Wrestler without too much damage... I would have thought sitting on the hood of a new vehicle these days would have definitely left a large impression.  

Here is the ad that he is referring to in his post:

Now although instances of this magnitude would be few and far between, it just goes to show you that even if you purchase your vehicle brand new, from the dealership, you still don't know exactly what they've done with it before selling it to you.

I think it was fairly irresponsible of this dealership to sell the Forrester to this guy without properly inspecting it after the commercial was filmed, because surely they could have anticipated that SOME damage might occur. However, this just perpetrates my theory that you should never buy a car from a dealership.

What Happens If You Don't Change Your Oil?

Even people who aren't mechanically-inclined know that only a retard doesn't change his oil. But what actually happens if you neglect to perform regular oil changes on your vehicle? I sent Das Auto`s senior news correspondent, Yuri Bonergarden, to find out the answer to this question.

Yuri was able to contact one unfortunate gentleman who literally ran his BMW 60,000KM without an oil change, and this gentleman shared pictures of his engine with Das Auto. 

First, we'll have a look at the oil pan. Nasty! It's amazing the engine could still run!

Next, the car's owner (who shall remain nameless) showed us the backside of the cover.

To get technical, your engine will be filled with sludge. Your engine simply can't run properly with all this crap. The owner of this particular car will be cleaning his engine for a while, and even after rigorous cleaning, it's not certain that it can ever function at optimum efficiency ever again.

Kids, our senior news correspondent, Yuri Bonergarden, says "NO" to improper engine care.

Detroit's RoboCop Statue Is Funded!

I know I'm not the only person been thinking that a statue of RoboCop would look great in Detroit, so I was glad to hear this piece of news today. In fact, I sent our senior news correspondent, Yuri Bonergarden, to Detroit get the scoop!

On the plane to Detroit, Yuri was pleased to read that donations were raised to put this project together, with a final donation of $25,000 from a company called Omni Consumer products.

Now when Yuri first arrived in Detroit and met with the Mayor, he was surprised to learn that there was no immediate plan to put a fur hat on RoboCop upon the statue's completion. This concerned him greatly, and he expressed this concern with extreme gusto - an action to which the Mayor replied, "Men, get RoboCop a fur hat!"

As you can imagine, the Mayor is a very influential man, and when he requests a fur hat, one is fetched for him immediately. He put this task on top priority, and his men came back with a high-quality, no-expenses-spared red tail fox hat. Yuri and the Mayer of Detroit shook hands, knowing that RoboCop's statue will be erected in style! Above is an artist's rendering of what the statue will look like upon completion.

Turbo Minivans - "I gotta get me one of these!"

Call me crazy, but turbo minivans have been an interest of mine ever since I was a kid. My parents had a minivan, and the thought of making one really fucking fast by either upgrading the naturally aspirated engine, or adding a turbocharger sounded really cool. As I grew up, I realized that these things are all over the place.

Obviously at the age of 20, I have better things to spend my money on (i.e. rent, food, and beer) but I've been reading stories over at turbominivan.com that seriously make me want to pick up a minivan at some point in my life, and slap a turbo on it. Can you imagine the look on someone's face when they hear your minivan's engine screaming with 15 psi of boost? I can.

Still thinking turbo minivans are a joke? Well, they're not. Here's a video of a Plymouth Voyager absolutely smashing a Firebird on the track:


And here's a video of a turbo Plymouth Voyager (possibly the same one?) just barely losing to a Subaru WRX:


So in conclusion, if you pull up to a red light and there's a dude in a minivan beside you, you don't know what he's got under the hood! And to all the haters who are saying "yeah, but it's an ugly-ass minivan," I say shame on you all. It's the ultimate sleeper, and I'd totally like to own one (not as my daily driver, of course).

Ford Five Hundred - Good in Theory, Lacking in Quality

A car purchase is obviously among the most important large purchases a person can make, and purchasing a poor-quality vehicle will come back and bite you in the ass. It is for this reason that when I come across a vehicle of aforementioned indecent quality, I make sure to spread the word.

Things brings us to the Ford Five Hundred. In essence, it is an front or all-wheel-drive sedan (separate models) which was manufactured between 2005 and 2007. Under the hood you will find the 3.0 liter Duratec 30 V6 wihch produces well over 200 horsepower, and 200 lbs/ft of torque. You can get the Ford Five Hundred with either a CVT transmission or a 6-speed automatic. Sounds pretty good, right? What negative things could this jackass (me) possibly have to say about it?

Well, regardless of impressive stats, I always read reviews to determine a vehicle's reliability, cost of ownership, build quality, and what type of maintenance it will require as the years progress. In the case of the Ford Five Hundred, the negative reviews that I read were plenty enough to discourage me from entering into ownership of one of these cars.

The first major complaint was the build quality. People have been complaining about the car shaking violently when braking, the dash bubbling, engine making knocking noises, carpet tearing easily, and the list goes on. Most of the reviewed vehicles had under 50,000km. If anyone is considering purchasing a Ford Five Hundred, I highly recommend reading the extensive reviews over at carsurvey.org. For a more reliable alternative to teh Ford Five Hundred, a Subaru Impreza can be picked up for around the same price.

2012 Acura TL - It's here and it's queer; get used to it

In the ever-expanding and fast-paced auto industry, Das Auto! always tries its darnedest to provide its readers with pure, unadulterated news from the forefront of wherever the f&ck news happens these days.  Our senior news correspondent, Yuri Bonergarden, embodies himself in his work and has brought us the low-down on the new 2012 Acura TL! We at Das Auto! found his information to be worthy of a post, hence today's topic.

The first thing our news correspondent, Yuri Bonergarden, thought when he set his eyes on the 2012 model was "is this f&cking car smiling at me?"

He conveys an extremely valid point. This car looks incredibly gay, or homosexual to be more politically-acceptable. Very rarely does a car give off a "stick-your-dick-in-my-tailpipe" vibe, but the 2012 Acura TL seems to have pulled it off successfully.

With the TL's faggot-appearance sufficiently criticized, let's talk transmissions. Surprisingly, this is the only aspect of the car that Yuri found to be acceptable. He liked the fact that the six-speed automatic transmission allows "double kickdowns". I asked Yuri what this meant, and he was happy to explain it to me in his ever-professional manner. He calmly explained that a "double kickdown" is where the transmission can skip from 5th to 3rd (for example) without ever touching fourth. As he caressed the TL gently with his right hand (while playing with his nipple with his free hand), he whispered in a deep, sensual growl to me that he really liked the double kickdown feature. Needless to say, the Acura representatives wouldn't let him touch the TL after that.

Yuri guffawed at me when I asked about the TL's engine. He told me it's the same 280-horsepower 3.5-liter V-6 and 305-horsepower 3.7-liter V-6 as last year's model, and that I should shut the f&ck up and wrap up this post because I'm rambling. 

In conclusion, I have a subconscious prejudice against Honda's and Acura's when I've been drinking, and I blame said prejudices on a third party, Yuri Bonergarden (AKA the "Traveling Businessman"), who may or may not be a figment of my delusional, drunken imagination. If any Acura-lovers or homosexuals were offended by this post, feel free to sue me.

Ford Beats Ferrari - But Not on the Track

Those who keep up with auto industry news may know that Ferrari wanted to name their F1 car the "F150" and announced their intentions to do so a while back. Ford, however, had an issue with this and took legal action to protect their trademark "F150".

Here's where I disagree with Ford's actions. They claimed that Ferrari had misappropriated the F150 trademark in naming its new racing vehicle the "F150" in order to capitalize on and profit. For starters, how can you compare a truck to a formula one race car?  The only reason Ferrari wanted the "F150" name for their F1 car is to celebrate 150 years of Italian unity, and they understandably don't understand Ford's intentions behind this legal action. Personally, I've gotta say that Ford is just flexing their muscles unnecessarily, simply because they can.

Ford also wanted damages for "cybersquatting" but I couldn't find out whether they are pursuing that since Ferrari has already withdrawn their proposal to use "F150" for their F1 car.

In conclusion, I gotta say that Ford done goofed on this one. Allowing Ferrari to use the "F150" name on their formula one car would not affect their business in any way, and it almost seems like bad publicity for them to pursue legal action.

The Terrafugia - Not Just a Car, and Not Just a Plane.. It's Both!

Yesterday's post showcased a rather unusual car - one that could drive underwater - and I was subsequently left wondering what other odd vehicles have been built. Therefore, I thought it was only fitting to post a concept car  which is the exact opposite of the underwater car. Meet the Terrafugia, a car that transforms into a plane, and actually flies!


Although it is marketed more-so as a plane that can transport itself and store easily, the Terrafugia is fully functional on the roadway. The theory is that the average pilot will want to cut his or her expenses, and will appreciate a lightweight aircraft that you can store at home, and literally drive to and from the runway. I really like this concept because it makes aircraft ownership much more practical for the average person, and I would consider purchasing one of these if I won the lottery.

The specs from the company's website, which can be viewed HERE are as follows:

Max, Vh: Cruise, Vc: Stall, Vs: Range: Takeoff:	100 kts (115 mph, 185 km/h) 93 kts (105 mph, 172 km/h) 45 kts (51 mph, 83 km/h) 425 nmi (490 mi, 787 km) 1700' (518 m) over 50' obstacle
Gross Takeoff Weight: Empty Weight: Useful Load:	1430 lbs (650 kg) 970 lbs (440 kg) 460 lbs (210 kg)
Fuel burn at cruise: Useable Fuel: Milage on road:	5 gph (18.9 L/h) 23 gal (87L) 35 mpg (14.9 km/L)

I especially like how the wings are mechanical and fully automatic, and how you enter and exit the aircraft as you would a car. The convenience of this vehicle also got me thinking... who else could benefit from this technology? And then it dawned on me! The most refined gentleman on this planet, the Traveling Businessman, could put this vehicle to use. The sky is the limit for he who wears the skunk hat. Fly on, Traveling Businessman, fly on.

In all seriousness, however, I believe the Terrafugia to be an excellent fusion of car and plane. This vehicle is actually available for purchase from the manufacturer, so it's not some far-off future concept. The website doesn't specify a price, leading me to believe that it's quite expensive.

The Underwater Car - Completely Useless, But Worth a Look

Not to be mistaken with the numerous ridiculous car-boat hybrids that have been created for no apparent reason, this innovation exhibits an even greater level of ridiculousness. Now keep in mind, I like ridiculousness because it provides comedic relief from logic and reason, but sometimes you just come across something which makes no sense. With that being said, let's take a look at Rinspeed's underwater car.





Okay, so if you watched the video, you're probably wondering who/what/why/where/how? Very good questions, and I'd like to answer them. The "who?" and "what?" questions are rather self-explanatory. Rinspeed, one of those "future development companies" created a zero-emissions sports car that can go underwater to a depth of ten meters. As for why they did this, it would appear that no one else had attempted to build one and they saw the opportunity. As for where it was built, how the f&ck should I know? It was shown at the Geneva motor show a couple years ago, if that helps satisfy that question.

Rinspeed's boss, an acknowledged James Bond enthusiast, had apparently wanted to build this vehicle for around 30 years. There's a whole whackload of information about this vehicle HERE for those who wish to educate themselves on this crazy automobile. 

Just for entertainment purposes, let's pretend this vehicle actually went into production. What type of person would purchase it? The average doctor, lawyer, plumber, garbageman, dentist, district attorney and cashier would have no use for a vehicle with underwater capabilities, but I'll tell you who would use it - the Traveling Businessman. He is forever conquering new territory, and making new business deals. Could the sea be his final frontier?

 

2012 Nissan GT-R

Hopefully you guys aren't sick of hearing about the new Nissan GT-R yet, because I'm just getting around to writing about it now! The 2012 model is seeing some overall upgrades, specification-wise, and they're worthy of your attention.

 

I'll start off with the good stuff, the real nitty gritty. Kazutoshi Mizuno of Nissan claims a 45 horsepower increase, bringing the total to 530, and a slight torque increase. Upgraded boost ensures that the new GT-R can hit 60mph from 0 in 2.83 seconds.

Other changes (or upgrades) come in more subtle forms. Nissan has created better sound deadening, more suspension tuning has taken place to help reduce under-steer, and some more detailed computer tuning which I won't get into.

The GT-R has become a prominent supercar, most comparable to the Porsche 911 turbo (though far less tame), and with a price tag of around $100,000 it's interesting why people buy vehicles twice its price.

Buying a Ford Crown Victoria Ex-Police Interceptor

If you browse your local Craigslist as much as I browse mine, you undoubtedly come across many Crown Victoria ex-police interceptors at seemingly fantastic prices. Some people, however, are skeptical of the deals and just assume there's something wrong with the vehicle. I wanted to throw a small guide together for anyone considering purchasing one of these cars, to ensure that a good deal is what you get (instead of a lemon).

First of all, you'd be surprised at how much documentation is available for these cars. Ex-police interceptors were maintained meticulously because they had to operate at peak efficiency, so you'll find detailed service records. The main thing you'll want to check for is where the vehicle was used. The reason for this? If it was driven primarily in the city, it will have a high number of idle hours, and driven harder than a car that was used in the country. The best-case scenario is to find an ex-detective car.

Police cars also are notorious for being in small accidents such as fender benders, so you will want to contact the seller and find out if any serious damage was done in the course of duty. Also be sure to find out who removed the electronics, because this will give you a general idea of the wiring condition and if you'll have to do any work.

The reason the police interceptor models are sought after by the public is because they have upgrades, such as better brakes, heavy-duty transmission, and drive-train. The interior is also quite nice, from what I could see while in the back seat.

Not all police cars are good buys, so you definitely have to do some work to make sure you're getting a good deal.

Will the Ford GT be Reborn as a Hybrid?

If the rumors in the auto industry are accurate, the Ford GT might re-introduced as a retro-styled, modern Hybrid. What does this mean exactly? Well, it would essentially be a purely electric supercar much like the Mercedes Benz SLS E-Cell. I for one think the Ford GT Hybrid would be a welcome addition to the road.

In order to keep up with the competition, stop/start ability coupled with an electric assist engine will keep the car relatively "green" which is obviously a requirement of a hybrid, but targets are still set at approximately 600 horsepower!

Ford will likely achieve its goal with the help of a turbocharger (or two?) and a lightweight aluminum chassis. I'll be keeping my eye on this one!

You Thought The Cadillac CTS-V Couldn't Get Better...

Someone please hand me that towel over there, because I need to wipe my drool off the goddamn floor! GM recently announced its new styling for the CTS-V - the Black Diamond Edition. Now I'm a guy who has numerous reservations about American vehicles, yet I cannot contain my desire to have one of these in my garage.

Now before anyone judges my attraction to this seemingly inanimate object, let me make something abundantly clear. This CTS-V isn't something to be left out in the rain, or to be parked near shopping carts at the neighborhood grocery. Why? Well, I'll gladly tell you why.  The painting process uses something called SpectraFlair paint, which entails a process of three layers of paint and flakes of aluminum encapsulated in magnesium fluoride for a sparkling finish. Needless to say, you're an idiot if you scratch the paint because it will be literally impossible to seamlessly repair it.

Aside from the paint, the Black Diamond CTS-V is said (by GM themselves) to emulate a well-tailored tuxedo. Prices start at $69,190 for manual transmission models and $70,490 for the automatic, which is a pretty penny for most onlookers (myself obviously included), but well worth the money.

source

Backwards Vehicles - They Really Mess With Your Head

People have been Photoshopping vehicles for years to make them look faster, lower, larger and for reasons unknown. However, today I found a collection of vehicles over at Final Gear forums where someone has chopped the roof off a vehicle, flipped it, and put it back. A rather simple concept, but with pretty awesome results...

I wanted to try this on my 1992 Volkswagen Jetta, but I couldn't find a side profile picture, and it's too dark outside to go take one.

The 2011 Jeep Wrangler Call of Duty: Black Ops Edition

Those of you who play Call of Duty: Black Ops may have noticed how Jeep was featured in the game, but what most people don't know is that Jeep actually created a special edition Wrangler entitled the Black Ops edition... (Yes, I'm serious.)

The special edition Jeep Wrangler hit dealerships back in December to seemingly little fanfare. What is the difference between this edition and a regular Wrangler, you ask? If you overlook the 32-inch off-road tires, Mopar tail lamp guards, a Mopar fuel door, Black Ops logos, and an entirely blacked-out exterior, then there's not really much difference. Oh, except for that it costs about $5,000 more than a base model.

So in conclusion, I enjoy playing COD: Black Ops just as much as the next gamer, but there's no way I'd make a vehicle purchase partially based upon their marketing partnership with Jeep. Is there anyone die-hard enough to buy one of these?

The "Chocolate Box Smart Car" - F&ck Off, Seriously

Valentines day is coming up, so Japanese luxury jeweler/chocolatier Q-Pot decided to design the following monstrosity...

When I first saw this picture, I hoped it was fake and photo-shopped, but such was not the case. See the original website here. In addition to this special edition Smart car looking like a giant piece of crap, it costs $28,000. I genuinely hope that anyone who is financially capable of spending that kind of money on a valentines-day gift will spend their money more wisely.

My dislike for Smart cars has amazingly become intensified. Whoever came up with this idea should be fired.

Noble M600 Supercar - They Finally Built One

Those who read my posts will know that I generally despise featuring "supercars" of any type, but hey, it's Saturday, and if any day was designed for people to forget they're not millionaires, it's today.

Top Gear fans may vaguely remember the M600 being tested in the fourth quarter of 2009 (to the best of my recollection), but the concept seemed to disappear after that. What happened?

Noble has announced - perhaps unintentionally - that an M600 has come off the production line recently. Under the circumstances, I believe a brief overview of the specifications is in order. First of all, this British supercar (yuck, but let's get past it together) has a twin-turbo 4.4 liter Yamaha engine. This engine can be used in three different power levels, thanks to the Adaptable Performance Control switch, and those levels are Road, Track, and Race. The horsepower levels for each are 450, 550, and 650 brake horsepower respectively. The curb weight is 2,775 pounds and the M600 hauls ass off the line with its 0-60 timed at under 3 seconds. Top speed is reportedly 225mph.

The price for an M600 is approximately $XXX,XXX. And yes, I realize those are X's. Just pretend you can afford it, sit back, and have a beer. That's what I do.

The Dumbest Method of Running Drugs Across the Border

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a bag of pot flying into the United States!

I nearly spit my coffee out in laughter yesterday when I read a newspaper article detailing how Mexican drug smugglers were caught using a catapult to launch drugs (namely pot) into the United States.

Drug runners normally try to get narcotics across the border in vehicles, or on foot depending on their location. I live in British Columbia, so runners here usually just go through the woods into the U.S. with pounds of pot in a duffel bag. I personally have walked across the border (without drugs) without any problem at the Peace Arch crossing, without going through customs. It's ridiculously easy, and a good way to make some cash - not that I condone such activities...

Apparently the National Guard notified authorities after taking video footage of the catapult in action. The operation was shut down, and some Mexicans were charged.

For those interested in seeing the footage, here's a video...





Am I the only person who immediately thought of Angry Birds when I saw the catapult?

2011 CTS-V Coupe Race Car - Cadillac is Back in the Game!

That's right, this race-pepped CTS-V marks Cadillac's return to the Sports Car Club of America World Challenge!

For those who aren't acquainted with the SCCA World Challenge series, the contending sports cars must be very close to stock specifications, and the challenge only consists of racing versions of road cars able to be purchased by the general public. This type of manufacturer competition appeals to me the most, because winning doesn't only depend on the manufacturer, but also the shops they work with to upgrade the sports cars. 

Back to the CTS-V, GM is using Pratt & Miller, an engineering firm in Michigan that has also been responsible for Chevrolet's  C5.R and C6.R race cars, along with the new Corvette GT2 class American Le Mans Series racers. GM hopes the series will become a key test-bed for Cadillac. They anticipate using what they learn on the racetrack will ensure the V-Series stays on the cutting edge of performance.

For those interested, the 2011 SCCA World Challenge series opens March 25-27 in St. Petersburg, Florida.

Images source: Motortrend

Solar Roads - Are They Feasible?

To answer my own question, the technology behind the concept is solid, and is very practical! In the interest of not providing false or misleading information, there is not some massive plan in the works to change every piece of pavement into an energy-absorbing piece of roadway. Rather, the inventor, Scott Brusaw, has indicated that this technology would be most useful in parking lots, cul-de-sacs, and essentially anywhere there is a large area of pavement. For instance, if an entire Walmart parking lot were made from solar material, it could supply a vast majority (if not all) of the power the store requires to operate.

Production has already begun for glass which is sufficiently strong for this application. As it turns out, this idea is being taken quite seriously and is not just some crack-pot theory (which was my initial impression of this technology). Apparently the inventor has got the attention of the Federal Highway Administration and is currently in fourth place in the GE Ecomagination Challenge, a competitive funding opportunity that could get the project off the ground, so to speak.

As I mentioned above, the idea is being proposed as a solution to the power needs immediately surrounding the solar panels. For instance, throw this technology in a few cul-de-sacs and you could take a whole subdivision off the power grid, according to the research being conducted. Preliminary testing is showing these panels to be efficient even in cloudy weather.

Scott Brusaw and a demonstration solar panel

Not to mention, since the roadway will be made from glass, you could add LED lights (see above image) which could display speed limits, crosswalks, and other pertinent information. Pricing is irrelevant at this point, but the inventor is indicating that it won't cost much more than traditional asphalt by the time it reaches mass production.

I can't see any negatives to this technology whatsoever, and would be more than ecstatic to see this implemented in my neighborhood! I'm interested to hear opinions on this.

They've Done It! The "Triple Decker Burnout"...

Some simple-minded amusement is about all you're getting from today's YouTube find, but if you were intrigued by my post's title, then I guarantee watching this video will be time well-spent! If however the title didn't even spark a molecule of intrigue within you, then today's post is not for you, and you should leave. NOW!





Okay, so even though the video is relatively self-explanatory, I like explaining things. When you're reading the following text in your head, make sure to add a mild (albeit noticeable) drunken slur....

"Folks, what we've got here is a triple decker burnout! That's right ladies and gentlemen, we've got a motorbike, sitting in the back of an 'ute, sitting on the back of a truck! Guess what they're all gonna do? *hiccup/beer burp* Light 'em up, boys!"

I've decided that the explanation can be summed up in this one quote: "That's how we do it on the West Side."

Heads up, tomorrow we'll be taking a look at the Pagani Huayra, and I'll probably be making fun of it.

Ferrari Unveils AWD Ferrari Four

Ferrari recently released pictures of its new all-wheel-drive "Ferrari Four" which features four seats and four wheel drive for the first time, and the images came with some mixed reviews.

In addition to being the most powerful and versatile four-seater car Ferrari has ever produced, the AWD system in the "FF" weighs approximately 50% less than a conventional system. The car, which is set to debut at the Geneva Motor Show in March, also features a brand new V12 engine and a dual-clutch F1 transmission.

I really think I'll need to see this car in person before making a definitive judgment call on its design. It appears to have similar proportions to the Porsche Panamera, which I am not terribly fond of. The side profile just looks awkward in my opinion, but I understand their need for proper weight distribution (53% rear). Also, there has been some speculation that this vehicle and its AWD will be a prelude for a Ferrari SUV, but that's all just rumor. Am I the only person who thinks that Enzo Ferrari is rolling over in his grave?

The Importance of Purchasing a Repair Manual

If you're going to work on your own car, it would be wise to pick up a repair manual for your vehicle. It essentially gives you a step-by-step description on how to maintain your vehicle, and takes the guess work out of the procedures, and ensures safety. The $30 or so dollars that you'll spend on this book (which is unique to your vehicle) will probably save you hundreds, if not thousands of dollars in the long run.

Nothing demonstrates my point better than this 30 second video:






If you are working on your vehicle without a repair manual, I highly recommend picking one up - unless you are a skilled/trained mechanic, in which case you are probably convincing people NOT to purchase a repair manual so they will fuck up their car and you'll have to fix it.

Innovative Advertising - The "Lexus Chain"

Car commercials today are generally pretty lame, which is why it's actually refreshing to see one that doesn't suck. What Lexus has done in their most recent ad is place their LFA in a rather interesting situation - under a literal "chain" of Lexus cars. Why did they do this? They wanted to demonstrate the strength of their vehicles' chassis. Point made, I'd say! This is just one commercial out of a series that Toyota and Lexus are doing, entitled "The Hard Way".

Is this real, you ask? That was my initial response to this video as well. It turns that Lexus invited a physicist and structural engineer to witness the commercial shoot, to prove that it did, in fact, occur without the use of special effects or CGI. 

For those interested in seeing the "behind the scenes" footage for this commercial, watch this video:

My personal opinion is that Lexus did this just to get people talking, and it's cleared working..... I just told you about it, didn't I?

World's Most Expensive Speeding Tickets

Do you have a lead foot? Are you always tempted to put the "pedal to the metal" when you see an empty stretch of road? Yeah, me too. But unless I know it's safe and/or I won't get caught, I generally don't cave to the temptation.

As with most laws, the severity of speeding varies drastically across the globe. Although it's rare to see a maximum fine imposed for speeding, it's interesting to see how expensive these maximum fines can actually get. After some research, I found the following information...

Canada
I'll start off with my own country where I was born and raised. On the playground was where I spent most of my days. Then a couple of guys (who were up to no good) started making trouble in the neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, and said "you're moving in with your auntie and uncle in [some Canadian city that rhymes with Bel Air]. So anyways, on the way there, the cab driver got a $25,000 fine for speeding.

Okay, the story was a joke obviously, but the maximum fine for speeding in Alberta, Canada is really $25,000!

Denmark
In 2002, a gentleman in Finland managed to get himself a $200,000 USD fine! How is this possible, you ask? Well as it turns out, Denmark calculates their fines largely on the net income of the motorist. This fine was issued in 2002, and the net income of the speeder was said to be over 11 million dollars (USD).

United States
$2500 marks the maximum fine in the US. I personally think the fine should be increased, but I suppose it rests at that amount for a reason which I wasn't able to determine. I suppose speeding is very common? Can anyone shed some light on this situation?

Iceland and Norway
How about 10% of your annual income, plus jail time? Yep, that's right! If you get caught for excessive speeding on their motorways, you'll get a mandatory 18 day jail sentence, in addition to any license suspensions and/or community service the court deems necessary.

The United Kingdom
Most of the UK's speeding tickets are enforced by speeding cameras and are generally around $100 USD. However, the driver of a Porsche 911 who was caught doing 172 mph in rural Britain in 2007 can tell you what the maximum fine is - $8000 USD. He received that fine in addition to spending 10 weeks in jail.

Almost every other country I researched has really low fines, and aren't really worth mentioning.

Question of the day: what's the largest speeding ticket you've ever received?

I'll start with mine - $0 since I've never been caught....

Also, would the deterrent of fines be less necessary with better drivers education training? Perhaps if all instructors were as qualified as the man in the picture below, no one would speed at all!

Handsfree Options For Your Vehicle - Don't Get Busted!

If it's illegal to talk on your cellphone while driving in your state or province, you could be facing some hefty fines for breaking this law. For instance, I live in British Columbia and the penalty is $167 - pretty pricey for doing something that was considered common a little over a year ago!

Luckily, for less than the fine, you can purchase "hands-free" equipment to ensure you can talk on your phone legally. There are a few different types of hands-free equipment to look at...

1. Bluetooth Headset / Wired Headset

Most phones (such as the iPhone) will come with headphones equipped with a microphone. If you want something wireless, you can pick up a Bluetooth headset (assuming your phone is equipped with Bluetooth) for anywhere from $10 to $300. The difference in price reflects the reputation of the brand, the features it has, the level of radiation it emits, the battery longevity, and the design. There are far too many Bluetooth headsets to review, but here's a reputable Motorola headset for sale at a very decent price: Motorola H790 Bluetooth Headset (Silver)

2. Bluetooth In-Car Speaker

This device is quite self-explanatory, in addition to being very easy to use. The device is mounted in your vehicle (usually on the sun visor) and you press a button on the device to answer an incoming call! It has a microphone built in, so it's like the person you are speaking with is actually in the vehicle with you. Of course, this device requires Bluetooth capability. Like the headsets, there are many varieties with varying features (such as full-color LCD displays) at a wide range of prices. For prospective buyers, check this one out: Motorola T215 Bluetooth Portable Car Speaker (Black)

3. In-Dash or Stock System

If you're fortunate enough to have a new car that is equipped with a Bluetooth stereo, read no further! You already know how it works and don't need to hear me babbling. If you don't have one, perhaps it's something to consider purchasing after market. Especially if you're in the market for a new stereo because you can kill two birds with one stone. If I could afford it, I'd buy this: Pioneer AVH-P3200BT In-Dash DVD Multimedia AV Receiver. The music automatically turns itself down when you have an incoming call, and you don't have to charge either of the two devices I mentioned above. If you can afford it, it's definitely the best way to talk on your cell phone legally in your car.

Even if you can't afford any of these things, just make sure to wear your polar bear hat if you get pulled over. There is not a single recorded ticket EVER issued to someone wearing a polar bear hat. It's definitely something to think about, because you can't argue with statistics. I always keep mine in my back seat in case a cop decides to pull me over.